


i'm growing attached to you (i could never let you go)

by kryouma



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode
Genre: 3 + 1 Things, 5+1 Things, Despair Era (Dangan Ronpa), Eventual Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Komahina Secret Exchange 2020, M/M, One Shot, Realization, Remnants of Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Slow Burn, kamukoma - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22242772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kryouma/pseuds/kryouma
Summary: in which komaeda survives a building's collapse and kamukura falls in love
Relationships: Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 6
Kudos: 223





	i'm growing attached to you (i could never let you go)

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for the komahina secret exchange this time around! this was a gift for @bluenurse on tumblr (go check out their art, they're insane)
> 
> prompt: "Kamukura actually feeling emotions and is confused on what he feels towards Servant."

_ 1. _

At first glance, Servant was just some stray dog. Clingy, inconsequential, boring. He tailed Kamukura relentlessly, never caring whether Kamukura acknowledged him at all. He didn’t do much to make life interesting, or out of the ordinary, and he was boring. Weird, maybe, but still boring.

That is until he opened his mouth for the first time.

Kamukura initially didn't bat an eyelid, not particularly paying attention to what he was saying, but he did turn around when he heard the building collapse. Right on top of the man, he noted. Not particularly saddening or of much concern really, there were worse ways to die. It was painless, quick. Quite merciful for this city. 

“Incredible, Kamukura-kun! You didn’t even flinch!”

Kamukura turned around to look at the source, fast enough to give away his slight surprise. But he was there, there was no mistaking the dazed gleam in his eyes. 

Or the large number of injuries on him. It sounded like he’d cracked a rib, judging by the intensity of his wheezing. But the man practically dragged himself across the concrete, and in a moment of boldness, offered him the chain on his collar and then promptly passed out. 

Kamukura felt slightly flustered, which was slightly more flustered than he was allowed to be. He took the chain anyway, picking up the man and carrying him out of the rubble. 

It was easy enough to find an abandoned building in a city where people were either dead, dying or seeking refuge in some underground shelter. Once he’d reached one that was mostly clear to begin with, he’d cleaned up a smaller area and place the man down. Playing doctor wasn’t his favourite pastime, but the talent was currently necessary. It didn’t take more than thirty minutes to clean and bandage the more minor of his wounds, but then he was left with the broken bones. He placed a finger on the man’s chest and gave it a slight press, waiting for him to shriek. 

Except he didn’t stir. He had evidently zero broken bones. Kamukura thought back to the man and his wheezing, it didn’t sound like a minor thing. But the fact remained that the man got out of the ordeal unscathed, and was no worse for wear. 

In fact, when he came to, he was positively ecstatic. Unexpected from a man who’d just had a building fall on top of him. 

“Ah, Kamukura-kun!” 

Kamukura grimaced, anticipating another volley of patronising words. 

“You should’ve just let me die, you know! You would have been a lot better off that way! Who knew you really had a heart in there!”

The man was borderline teasing him. It was as if somebody had flipped a switch, the man’s nature, while still maniacal, had turned to self-deprecation and passive aggression. 

For once in his life, Kamukura wasn’t sure what was going to happen next. He felt…he felt something. This was new, to learn and understand, to conquer. He would master it just like everything else. 

He turned to the man, eyes wary, to see him smiling crazily back at him. Kamukura thought it quite fitting for his glazed eyes and wild hair. 

“You,” Kamukura said. “What’s your name?”

“Ah!” The man gasped, his smile twisting creepily. “Why would someone as incredible and talented as you need the name of someone as pathetic and insignificant—”

“I said,” Kamukura repeated, firm and unyielding. “Give me your name.”

“Is that an order?” The man didn’t miss a beat.

Kamukura couldn't say he wasn’t slightly thrown by that comment. The man’s words were both in jest and absolutely serious simultaneously. Still, he pressed on.

“Yes,” Kamukura spoke flatly. “Now, your name.”

“The name given to me is Servant.” The man replied. “I am undeserving of even such a name. However, you have asked for one, and I truly do only exist for the benefit of others like you.”

“I asked for your name,” Kamukura said. “Not your whole life story.”

Servant held his gaze still on Kamukura as he stood up. Kamukura held the weighted chain loosely. Servant kept staring. Kamukura clutched the chain tightly, watching the collar strain at Servant’s neck. Servant remained unbothered. 

Kamukura yanked the chain forward, taking Servant with it. Kamukura looked down at him with disdain, taking in the crooked smile and glazed eyes on his face. He turned around and began walking out of the run-down building, it’d served its purpose. 

“Follow,” Kamukura said. “I don’t want to have to tell you twice.”

Kamukura knew that telling him wasn’t really required, but Servant was technically his patient for now. Towa City was boring regardless, and maybe this man would bring a little of something new. 

He heard the clinking of the chain and the rustling of fabric, accompanied by a breathy Kamukura-kun, and knew Servant was behind him. 

As he looked out, the city seemed a little less desolate, and himself, a little less cold. 

_ 2. _

Servant was an oddity. When Kamukura first saw him, the man had maintained a healthy distance from him, claiming it was because  _ Kamukura-kun is so much greater than a worthless being like me _ . Slightly patronising, but not problematic. 

Usually, Servant would stay behind while Kamukura looked for food and other supplies in some abandoned house, and when Kamukura would return, he’d be standing right there. There was a certain familiarity in the regime, and Servant constantly trailing him was obvious and inevitable. 

Except, this time, Servant was gone. 

Kamukura went and looked for him. He didn’t know why it was...instinctive. He wasn’t going to question feelings if he needed to understand them, so he followed them. 

That’s not to say he blindly ran after him. Kamukura wasn’t an idiot. He knew Servant, he knew some of his tendencies, and of course, he had his talents. However, unfortunately for him, all three ran against each other and didn’t have any foreseeable alignments. 

Kamukura learned that he didn’t have all the answers, and he didn’t like it. 

He felt...agitated. Something seemed off —wrong, even— and he needed to fix it. The only real plan he had was Find Servant. 

He didn’t know how to respond to these feelings, so he looked for a bunch of particularly violent Monokids. Servant was, of course, completely uncaring when it came to his safety. He’s also painfully adroit at getting himself into situations that fed into his inferiority complex and his luck cycle. 

Of course, he also believed that he deserved the beating, so he’d usually just keep quiet and take it. Kamukura listener for someplace with sounds of violence, yet no screams. 

Kamukura was right, as usual, but something about what he was seeing just didn’t sit right with him. It’s not as if he hadn’t seen worse before, but something felt…wrong about just standing by this time. 

Kamukura rushed forward, plucked a surprised Servant out of the group, and left for somewhere safe. He realised that his feelings of agitation were gone, and everything felt normal. 

Servant seemed to be berating him for saving his life, a tangent that Kamukura didn’t expect from his regular obsessive admiration. This unpredictable behaviour was rather...interesting to Kamukura, he was glad that he was finally getting something of a grasp on it.

When they had reached something akin to a safe spot, Kamukura left Servant to his own devices and began preparing something for the two of them with the supplies he’d found. Servant, he’d found, was rather useless at any generic domestic duty. Not that it mattered, really, because it was mostly just an offer and Kamukura could do all those things in the blink of an eye. Though, while performing such menial tasks now, he’d begun to feel...lonely.

He dismissed the thought, chalking it up to being a little more drained than usual. He handed Servant his food, then sat down wordlessly in front of him and began to eat.

“Say,” Servant chirruped. “What despair possessed you to save such a lowly being such as myself?”

For a moment, Kamukura contemplated going back and leaving him, then found himself unable to entertain the thought. 

Kamukura didn’t like what was going on. 

_ 3. _

Kamukura began to show symptoms of a disease he’d never heard of before and was becoming confident in his hypothesis that Servant was both the catalyst and carrier of it. 

Servant, whose shadowing and borderline-stalking had initially been a gigantic nuisance, had now become a comforting familiarity. His chain remained secured around Kamukura’s hand at all times. His ridiculous babbling about hope and despair no longer remained a pesky noise in the background, with Kamukura actually beginning to comprehend it. 

The most problematic part of this was the feelings. 

Kamukura would wake up, Servant’s obnoxiously fluffy hair tickling his face and feel himself heat up, unable to form any actual coherent thought. He’d find himself unable to truly concentrate on most other things when Servant was talking, having a need to give him his full attention.

He’d only ever had to recall talents for more practical purposes, so he wasn't quite sure what else was to be applied to the situation. He’d been unable to diagnose himself with a disease, there didn’t seem to be any clues relating to a previous event, it definitely wasn't something he’d ate because Servant ate the same food and he was just the same...Kamukura didn’t even know if there was a niche talent that could even vaguely fit the bill, even with his detective talent on the case.

They were currently sitting on the remains of the highest tower in the city, watching the sunset. Kamukura had no clue why they were wasting their time here, but Servant seemed to be enjoying himself immensely and Kamukura was physically unable to even try to get him to do anything else. 

Servant’s eyes were sparkling. For some reason, the dappled colours of the sky painted the ends of his hair in a way that made Kamukura’ throat turn parched all of a sudden. It was a beautiful view, one he knew he wouldn’t give up for the world, not even for the answer to the symptoms that were plaguing him.

And when Servant turned to him and smiled, a pure one, with no dazed gleam or twisted despair behind it, Kamukura felt himself...melt. He allowed himself a smile back, a small one that barely even showed, but Servant knew it was there, and that was all that matters.

So what if he wasn’t sure just exactly he was afflicted with? If it meant giving up moments like this, he wouldn’t trade them even for a cure.

_ +1. _

Servant looked at Kamukura sceptically. Take off his chain? Why would anyone ask that of him? It was the only way to prevent their shining hopes from getting sullied by his filthy being. And Kamukura of all people. His hope shone brighter than all this disgusting world’s combined!

He obliged, regardless. It was Kamukura, after all. 

Kamukura then stuck out his hand, low enough for it to not be a handshake but high enough for it to not just be casually hanging there. Servant waited for the impending punishment, one befitting a person of such a lowly status like him. Kamukura had never punished him before, likely in preparation for an even worse one, just as Servant would deserve. 

Kamukura averted his gaze and huffed. Servant stared at his hand. Was Kamukura really not going to punish him? That would be unthinkable; Servant was a horrible person.

“Well,” Kamukura sighed. “Take it.”

Servant’s eyes widened in disbelief, this really couldn’t be happening. But obeying people with beautiful talent and shimmering hope like Kamukura was his only purpose in life, so he did exactly that.

Kamukura smiled, a slight half-smile that only Servant seemed to be privy to. It seemed weirdly romantic in a sense, though someone like Kamukura would never waste his time on someone like him.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Kamukura said, gaze fixated on him. “I also know that it’s not true.”

Servant didn’t know what to say, and perhaps silence was the right answer. But with Kamukura’s hand in his, even walking over the unseemly corpses and having their blood splatter their shoes, the overwhelming feeling of despair that weighed on him didn’t seem to poignant.

Servant felt...happy, truly happy, for the first time in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> i recently got into danganronpa! this was incredibly enjoyable for me to write, because oh my god i love them! this was also posted on my tumblr (@kryouma-writes) so feel free to yell about these kids with me!
> 
> i was really glad to get a chance to work with kamukura/servant, because i really don't see much love for them and they have so much fanfic potential...anyway, i hope you guys had some really great holidays and here's to the hope that this decade will be a great one for you!


End file.
